I’ve never really been afraid to do my own thing. I’m not worried about being the first to try something, or about taking on a new adventure. Over the past seven or so years, that part of me went really quiet though, while the mom in me was busy, so busy at work.
Before I was married, I’d love to grocery shop at midnight in San Francisco. Happily, I’d drive up the interstate at 2 a.m., to get to a far away friend’s house. Lake Tahoe to the Bay Area and back in a day? No problem. I even went out dancing at my favorite bar one night, alone. No friends wanted to go out, but that didn’t stop me!
After getting married, I became accountable to more than just myself and things changed. I changed.
While I am happy my husband introduced me to a healthy dose of fear, I took it too far. Grocery shopping at midnight? Not anymore. Driving home from the mountains at 2 am? Not a good plan either. My false sense of invincibility was taken from me, which is obviously a good thing. Like I said though, I took it too far. I started being afraid to do anything new, anything outside of my comfort zone, anything that involved a little risk. Not a fun way to live.
Want to know what changed it all? Well, who changed it all? Her.
This is Malia. She’s my yoga teacher and my friend.
Can you spot me? I have a (real) tan that would make an Oompa-Loompa cry with jealousy. And nothing says awesome curly hair, like bangs, right? Woo-baby! This was the day that Malia took one for the team and yelled at the man on the corner who preached “Jesus thinks women who wear lipstick are whores.” Rock on girl!
So how did Malia stop my growing fear? With hot yoga, that’s how. The first class I went to was her Thursday night level 2/3 Power Vinyasa class. Mama say wha? I had no idea what I was in for. She just told me that my body would remember my cheerleading days, and I’d do just fine.
The class was hot from the second I laid down my mat and my fear was intense. Standing up and going through a couple of poses, I could think of nothing but excuses and ways I could slip out the door and into my comfort zone. I was afraid. I hadn’t done yoga in five years. I was worried about every minute that was going to follow. Afraid of the 90 degree heat that was building, afraid the class would be too hard, afraid to fail.
Malia kept me on my mat, though. She praised my efforts. About ten minutes later, something did walk out the door. It was my fear. The rest of the class was torture. So hard. So, so freaking hard. Like, laughable hard. Between the bass of the rap, the dance music or the grunts of the 20 year old Lululemon girls, I somehow made it through. A new me was waking up.
This past week, I felt the same sensation as that first night in class. I made it into a pose I had always been to afraid to try. When I pushed my limits and lifted my feet from the ground, letting go of the fear of falling on my head, I felt about 8 milliseconds of pure bliss. I did it! Reminding myself that the power of releasing fear is so invigorating and freeing was such an amazing experience I was able to go through, for the second time.
Next weekend, I’ll be spending all Saturday at a Yogathon! Malia puts on this amazing event to benefit children’s charities and I am thrilled to be joining in. I’m not excited to ask for donations, but I have to! Otherwise, how will the children of Children’s Hospital & Research Center Oakland, UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital and Africa Yoga Project benefit? I’ve gots to get some dough, yo!
If you can help in any way, please click the picture below to help raise money for three different organizations that truly need it.
So, like it or not, releasing fear has it’s downsides too. I’m not quite as happy in my small, bubbled corner of the world. It’s safe and every inch is landscaped, but I’m a little um…itchy. I have a horrible case of wanderlust. Before kids, I would have told you that my dream job already belonged to Samantha Brown.
No, I had no interest in wearing a bikini on TLC, but I sure did want to travel the world and report back on all the different amenities and excursions different locations had to offer. I dreamed of travelling, collecting travel magazines and taking road trips wherever and whenever possible. The car was once my best friend. A perfect day would involve a long drive with good music and fresh air.
Then it all went away. I stopped wanting to go anywhere. I didn’t want to fly. No trains, no bridges. No thanks. Right here, in the small valley I live in was right where I wanted to be. My dream job was now in front of my home computer and absolutely nowhere which involved a commute.
Thankfully, that feeling has been shaken off of me and I am more than ready to venture again.
More thankfully, I work with three year old children who don’t mind at all when I speak in silly voices, dance around or sing a song about using a napkin. They even encourage me to drink coffee. What could be better?
I had a whole post ready about cupcakes, but that will have to wait until next time, I’ve written enough. For now, you can enjoy some funnies from Mr. T. He’s a super secret guest blogger. His name is not Mr. T. though, it’s Travis. So, he’s no longer a real secret. Also, while trying to disguise him, I made him look a bit like Kim Jong-il. Sorry, Trav. I’ll do better next time.
So Travis is funny. Like, really, really funny. His post however, is rated R. If you are easily offended, Mormon, my grandma or the parent of one of my students, you may want to skip the section below. Otherwise, enjoy! He proposed a podcast, which I think I’m going to get going as well. So, stay tuned for so much more non-food related blogging, pals! Love you, love your show. Muah!